The woes of moving

I never realize how many books I own until I move and have to pack them. It's nuts!

So guess how I'm spending my Thursday afternoon. Packing! I'm moving to a new apartment next week, so I've spent the last couple of hours packing and drinking beer (the latter is much more fun than the former) and I will continue to do both for the next few hours. I lead a very exciting life.

I can't wait for the day that I finally own my own place and don't have to move. It'll be grand. I'll be able to do whatever I want to it and in it and I won't have to worry about moving unless I move to a different town. As it stands, I have no idea how long we'll stay at the apartment we're moving to because I'm not sure if it's a yearly lease or month by month and if it is month by month, I have a feeling they'll be upping our rent before too long since they tried to do it already. Aw, how I love landlords. But I am looking forward to being back in an apartment rather than the house we're currently in. I think it'll will lessen the stress and headaches that come with living with roommates.

Anyway, back to boxing up the books.

Hotness of the Week: Jessica Landstrom

I'm supposed to be cleaning my house right now to get ready to move, but since that's not the least bit of fun, I figured I'd write up a post instead. This is a very fun post to write because it's a topic everyone can appreciate and that topic is a hot girl. Now, this girl is one of many reasons why soccer is such a fantastic sport.

So, let me introduce Jessica Landstrom.

If you've read pretty much any lesbian blog, then you've seen that picture and know what I'm talking about. The woman is extremely attractive and is openly gay and in a relationship. All sorts of awesome all around. The following are a few more examples of her awesomeness.

Any my personal favorite because I like a girl with style, especially sporty style:

So, who's up for watching a soccer match?

Yes, I get green with jealousy

Wow, it's been almost a month since my last post. Craziness. What can I say? I've been busy nursing my Bones addiction (Emily Deschanel as Temperance Brennan is simply hot), working, getting ready to move, and trying to figure out where I stand with the girl I'm seeing - is she my girlfriend, officially, or are we still just 'hanging out'? Girls are awesome, but so confusing.

So, I am moving one week from today. I have yet to start packing, that'll likely start tonight after I get home from spending the afternoon with my lady friend. My roommates seem to be quietly refusing to help clean the house, so I'll just keep a portion of their security deposit as cleaning fees.

I have had an interesting week. This past week was gay pride week where I am and it was my first gay pride. I've been working quite a lot this week, so, unfortunately, I didn't get a chance to get out to many of the events, but I didn't make it to the parade and the downtown festivities last Saturday. I also went to a drag show on Friday with a couple of friends and my lady friend and it was a rather enlightening time, in a personal sense.

I am a minorly jealous person, but I'm not a dramatic person, so most of the time, others don't even know that I'm being eaten alive with jealousy. I don't act out, I simply become quiet and withdrawn, sometimes a little sad. I knew this about myself before, I'd get jealous when my boyfriends would talk to other girls. But I had kind of been hoping that it would be different when I started dating girls. I had hoped the jealousy was some sort of manifestation of my feelings of otherness and wrongness when I was dating guys because I never wanted to be in the relationship, in fact, as soon as it started to look like a relationship, I'd be overwhelmed with the urge to run as far and fast as I could. I haven't felt that way since I started seeing my lady friend, quite the opposite, I just want to spend more and more time with her. So I hoped that maybe my jealousy was another subconscious way of sabotaging the relationship.

However, it seems that I was wrong. I am simply a jealous person. A jealous person with a degree in psychology so I was able to spend some of my time on Friday analyzing myself to find out just why I was jealous and, surprise surprise, it's all about low self-esteem at the moment. You see, a year and a half ago I was in shape and had a nice body, but then I went through what I call my year of injuries, during which I spent a week and a half on bed rest, numerous months unable to do anything laborious because of a back problem, broke my elbow, and coped with a badly damaged shoulder, all things which kept me from doing the activities I love. Because of these injuries and resulting sedentariness, I put on quite a bit of weight, leading to bad body image and low self-esteem. My lady friend is insanely active and fit.

So, we're sitting at our table at the drag show, my lady friend isn't there yet and this woman who was ditched by her friends is sitting at the end of the table. Being the friendly person that I am, I start chatting with her and draw her in so she can join in our good time. My lady friend is way more outgoing and chatty than I am, so I know that when she gets there, she'll welcome our new friend as well, and we'll all have a good time. What I didn't count on was our new friend taking an interest in my lady friend and my lady friend spending a fair chunk of the time before the show chatting with our new friend. I can see that our new friend is interested and I mean, why wouldn't she be, my lady friend is chatty and fun and funny and outgoing. Now, I don't think my lady friend is interested, she's definitely not the type of person to be out with one person and spend the night talking and flirting with another. But I was horribly jealous anyway and I knew it had everything to do with me and little to do with my lady friend or her behaviour. Of course, it didn't help matters any when they exchanged phone numbers at the end of the night.

I know I don't have anything to worry about because I am well aware that my lady friend and I have something great going for us. I'm not worried that she's going to get bored and call up her new friend for a date. It's wonderful to be that secure in the relationship, now I just have to work on becoming that secure about myself again. Which makes me doubly excited that the new building I'm moving to has a fitness center on the main floor. Because, frankly, when I'm in shape, I'm a bit of a hottie.

Anyway, I will post again soon. I've been writing down ideas to blog about, so I have a list to work through. It will hopefully be interesting.